Reining In Demons

It is no secret that this job will take a toll on you personally. There will be demons that you will carry, in the form of bad calls, disappointment in yourself and expecting more of your self than is realistic. These demons sometimes can and often do take the form of addictions of some sort. Facing these demons is something that we should do, and need to do. Take it from someone who has tried going this road alone, it doesn't work. I never wanted to admit I had an addiction to something, until I realized that by not facing it I was at risk of far worse consequences. Fortunately my addiction is not any form of drug, but it can be just as damaging. I recently realized this and reached out to a friend for help. Reining in ones demons can and will be a difficult task, but with help demons can be beaten.

When you expect much of yourself you sometimes find it difficult to reach out and show that you need help with something. You forget that just like you are there for your friends, that they will also be there for you, and if people won't be then they are not friends worth having. Recently Emergency services has been in the spotlight for occupational stress injury which manifests itself in many ways. Over the last 10 weeks 13 first responders have committed suicide due to PTSD and other occupational stress injuries. This is a big deal, and I am deeply saddened by this unnecessary loss of life. When my demons surfaced recently and I looked them in the eye and realized I had a problem I was in disbelief. I couldn't believe that I had a problem, I couldn't comprehend that I was carrying so much. I have been in this industry a long time and I didn't want to believe that the reason I was addicted to gambling was possibly career related. I have been lucky, as I have realized it before things got too desperate for me.

Making a decision to face, and defeat our demons comes at a price. There is fear, there is apprehension, even as I write this I don't know if I will publish it, as this puts it out there for everyone to see. That might be a good thing though, being transparent, and accountable for my own actions. Actions that could have cost me everything. Biggest lesson I learned this week is to never try and go it alone. We have an awesome support system and though times are tough with work being busier and lives also remaining busy it's important to stay connected to your peers. Our camaraderie is what helps us, and keeps us whole. For anyone suffering alone or going through things that they think people won't understand, reach out to someone you trust. You will be surprised at their understanding and their support.

Reining in our personal demons takes effort, it takes time, and it takes honesty. Honesty with your loved ones, and honesty with yourself. Admitting there is a problem is sometimes the hardest part. Once you have passed that step, the road ahead is long, but the road is passable. Taking things one day at a time and finding your joy on the journey is the best part. I share this for two reasons. One I don't want to go it alone anymore, and two, I want anyone that may be keeping things in to know that it's ok to reach out. Reaching out doesn't make you weak, reaching out shows that you have the strength to face what your going through. Strength takes many forms and sometimes when we feel at our weakest it's the next step that demonstrates how strong we are.