Through My Eyes

When I began my journey to become a paramedic in 1998 and stepped into a world much larger than myself, I had some misguided conceptions of what this job would be. As time has gone on I have seen the world through different eyes. When we come into this career we are all fresh and eager and feel like we are bullet proof ready to take on the world, save lives and run on water! The reality of this job hits pretty hard, and pretty fast. Not to say that the career is not worth it, because it is. There are just things that no amount of training can prepare you for.

When I was in school they told me I would see things. They told me I would see things that would stick with me, forever. During training they prepare you for the dead, they try to desensitize you to the ugly things you might see. The smells you might face. The horrible things that people will do to themselves or to others. They try to get us ready to handle the things that no one else should see. Through my eyes though, I was never prepared for the hurt, the pain, the turmoil or the agony I would see in the faces of families and loved ones of the people we were trying to help.






Those are the images that have stuck with me, and have burned themselves into my soul. Arriving at a home for a person who has just gone into cardiac arrest. The only words I hear as I approach the daughter doing CPR are the words of his wife, "He can't die, He is my life!" Uttered with such desperation that a lump forms in my throat as I kneel beside him to start treatment. The questions from a gentleman in a car accident asking about his young daughter whom I know is passed away, but now is not the time to tell him. The friends of a young girl asking about her condition. She was the one doing things right, wearing her seat belt, had a designated driver. Her life lost as a drunk driver smashed into their vehicle right where she was sitting. Their faces burned into my memory with the tears, and the pain they feel. The agonizing cry of a father who has just witnessed his daughter go into cardiac arrest. The sound rings in my ear even now as I write this. The training we receive is exceptional, the care we provide is second to none, and the people we help are truly the reward that make this career worth getting in the truck every day. These memories are the thing that I was unprepared for and I believe that sentiment is shared with many of my colleagues.

I don't tell you these things to discourage your career path, or even to invoke sympathy. I tell you these things so that you can prepare. Psychological safety and well being is a big deal in emergency services, and if you are not prepared for the things you will see, or the families of the people you are helping, it can take a toll on you. This glimpse into the world through my eyes is my way of trying to help you understand what we go through and also to prepare you as you enter this field. This is the most rewarding career I could have ever found for myself, and I truly love what I do. I encourage others that feel drawn to this career to pursue it. This career takes a little extra something as does any emergency service. Those people that find a passion for this career will be the people that continue to move it forward in a positive direction. They will continue to make pre hospital care a dynamic and ever evolving industry.

When you are doing your schooling take time to learn about work life balance. Find things to do that you love outside of this career. If this career becomes your whole focus you will lose appreciation for the beautiful things that are out there. My career went full circle and I am hoping that these anecdotes and stories can help prepare you for your journey. I hope you enjoyed the read, and encourage you to share it and like it so others can see it too.